When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
