well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
