I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
