Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
