Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
