i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
