On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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