I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
