One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
