How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
