doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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