I feel great
I just peed on a car
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
