I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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