I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
