I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
how do flat chested girls get laid?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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