I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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