Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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