Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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