At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
