my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
