She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
