garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
