omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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