You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
