She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
