are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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