Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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