This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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