No stitches, just platelets and will power
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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