so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
