Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
