I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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