I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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