i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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