Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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