420 ftw
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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