YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
