if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
