Little spoons don't ask big questions
Operation Purity has been aborted
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
