she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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