Ketchup is God's man juice
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
