He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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