I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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