found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
