I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
