Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
