He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
