Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
