yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
