You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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