I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
